Another "Unconventional" View of Same-Sex Marriage From a Gay Man Himself

It's good to see there are at least some other gay men who can look at the "big picture" on the same-sex marriage issue, even at the risk of being reviled by the gay community as a whole. I've learned that it's better to be hated for speaking the truth than to be loved and adored for ignoring it.

Anyways, this is a post from a good friend of mine who is just as gay as I am, and just as gay as any other gay man (perhaps even more so in a way lol). I promised I would not reveal his name so he wouldn't have an angry homo lynch mob after him.

While I don't agree with completely eliminating marriage altogether as he seems to be advocating, he still makes some very valid points. I'm hoping that the one good thing that comes out of the passage of Prop. 8 is that it causes us to become more open-minded and try a new approach next time, since the approach we have been taking (and have continued to take since last Tuesday) evidently is not working. Anyways, time to let my friend speak:


"For years, I've been spewing that gays have missed the mark on the whole gay marriage thing. I've been attacked by gays for years that my views were biased and off base. Of course, I think fairness for all is appropriate. I don't believe one group of people should be entitled to special recognition, benefits, status and the such, due to race, sex, sexual orientation, especially from a government that claims liberty and justice for all.

I was raised in a very conservative, truly evangelical church. One thing I've seen over the years is that people hold close their traditions. Marriage is no different. I think supporters of Prop 8 across the country are afraid that their tradition is going to be disgraced and violated. The religious "rite" of marriage should be protected for those people. However, it shouldn't be protected by an amendment to a Constitution.

To get to the point, I think that if opponents of Prop 8 want to be effective, then they need to change their strategy. Prop 8 opponents really thought that their cause was going to be the victor in the last election. Shockingly to some, those very people who voted blue, harshly criticize and oppose gay marriage. So, we want fairness for all? I suggest Prop 8.2. I feel that if gays want to make a real impact, they will have to turn the tables on Prop 8 supports. How do we do this? We take away their marriage. Well, sort of. I propose gays raise signatures and place a ballot initiative to remove all State recognition of marriage for all. I'm not really sure why the Government ever got involved in the first place, but government has no place in a religious institution. You want to get 'married', fine, keep it in your church. You want your union recognized for legal and social reasons, apply for a Civil Union. Fairness for all why still respecting others.

As a side note, I'm really tired of hearing about how "hateful" Prop 8 was. It's not hateful to hold a value to high esteem and to fight to protect it. I know it's hard for some to understand that the idea of Prop 8 is not hate, it's about protecting. Again, is it their fault their ideas towards the homosexual community are what they are? Maybe it's our message or the delivery of that message. We can't win without educating people about our lifestyle. What's an effective tool? It would be each and everyone of us reaching people in our own circle of influence. We all know people who voted yes on 8. We all know people who would have supported voting yest on 8. It's our duty to reach out to people to show them that we are no different than them. It's our duty to be that connection to those outside our community. We can't remain in the closet and tolerate injustice in our workplaces, schools, and churches. We can't remain in our comfort zone. We have to reach out and show people that we are equal, and sometimes above equal, when it comes to fashion and decorating you know ;-) "