Friday, September 19, 2008

A Gay Man's Case Against Gay Marriage

Yup, that's what the headline says.
You aren't that drunk or hallucinated yet lol

I'll say it very clearly: I AM A GAY MAN, AND I OPPOSE GAY "MARRIAGE.
" Now, promise me that before you brand me a traitor or accuse me of being a gay "Uncle Tom," at least listen to what I have to say, fair enough?

First of all, if you’re really in love with someone, why the hell do you need a piece of paper to prove that? All it means is that when the relationship sours, your partner gets to take half of what you’ve worked so hard to earn (especially if you’re in a community property state like CA- just ask Jessica Simpson).
Most of my str8 friends tell me that society is actually doing gays a favor by not allowing us to get legally married and be forced to suffer the same misery lol

Regardless of how much of a hypocrite I might seem, I think that our state Supreme Court decision earlier this year was completely WRONG. I have actually read the decision in its entirety (from a legal persepctive and not a "gay" perspective) and it is filled with errors and misapplications of precedent, a clear example of overzealous judges overstepping their bounds and succumbing to cultural whims rather than using proper restraint and following the law. Californians have an opportunity on election day, as voters in a democracy (imagine that), to overturn the decision and I sure hope that we do. Either way, there is no way the decision will stand if, heaven forbid, it goes to the U.S. Supreme Court.


In California, same sex couples can register with the state as domestic partners and receive almost all of the benefits a legally married couple get without it actually being called marriage. Even in other states, all it takes is a visit to an attorney to draft some forms (i.e. power of attorney, living will, etc.) and it’s almost just as if you were husband and wife. When I lived in Arizona, I knew a lesbian attorney whose entire practice consisted of providing these services to same-sex couples.


I do not believe this relegates us to second class citizens, as long as civil unions and domestic partnerships are available. By demanding marriage rights, gays and lesbians are claiming entitlement to something that was simply never intended for them, not due to bigotry or prejudice, but rather the nature of marriage itself as an institution.
As I like to (and need to) frequently remind so many of fellow gay men, "It’s not about you!"

To compare, I am sure that a lot of str8 men would love to be allowed to go into the ladies’ restroom, but they aren’t because any ladies restroom, since its opening, was intended for ladies only. As long as the men have their own restroom, even if they would rather go into the ladies room, this certainly doesn’t make men second class citizens or constitute "separate but equal." No one would dare proffer such a silly argument. It’s just simple common sense that a ladies restroom is for ladies only, just as it is simple common sense (not "homophobia") that marriage as an institution was always intended, and should always be intended, for ONE man and ONE woman. As a gay man, this does not make me feel inferior whatsoever, in the same way that it does not make me feel inferior that I am not allowed to purchase a home in a 55+ retirement community, or be hired to model female bikinis (sorry to disappoint all of you), or have to stand in the long line everytime I go through customs at a European airport. Oh, and how dare the manager at McDonald’s tell me I’m not allowed anymore to play in the children’s play area and jump in the ball pit.
I am going to hire the ACLU and sue!

*Oh, and contrary to popular belief, Sarah Palin did NOT oppose domestic partner benefits for Alaska state employees. I exchanged e-mails last night with a lady who actually works for the state of Alaska, and she says that her gay and lesbian colleagues have always received such benefits. It never ceases to amaze me, especially in this particular campaign, how the media blurs the line between perception and reality, and how so many of us are still falling for it hookline and sinker. I’m working on a blog posting this weekend on that very subject.


This ought to generate some lively conversation, can’t wait to hear your thoughts =)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks Casey, for your blog.

It is so refreshing to hear a gay man speak about this issue in a logical manner.

I am not anti-gay... I support civil unions, but I believe that this extreme push for marriage is about so much more than just two people of the same sex who love each other wanting to be together.

I think, perhaps, and this is only an opinion, that it may have more to do with that same internal struggle we all have... to be accepted as normal by the group or groups that dictate what that is.

And, since, as you stated, marriage is and has always been intended for one man and one woman, I fear that gays and lesbians will be quite let down when the fact that they're married doesn't change anything... especially, people's opinions regarding homosexuality.

We all struggle, we all want to be accepted, but the truth is that we all can't be accepted into all groups... nor should it be that way.

Why not keep it interesting and just settle for being different, no matter what that difference is, and give up on this idea that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Again, I thank you for your perspective.

I would be honored to have a smart friend like you in my corner, any day...

Have a great one...

Let's Get McCain into office.

Dana

Anonymous said...

Also, I just wanted to let you know... I got to your blog via John McCain's Myspace comments page.

my URL is danalyn17

I'm only anonymous because of no google/blogger ID.

Anonymous said...

I'm also a Bisexual man that opposes gay marraige. To me Marriage is a religious symbol that was established as a bond between a man and a woman long ago. I'm single right now. I might decide eventually to marry a woman, but if I end up loving and wanting to spend the rest of my life with a man, I don't want that relationship to be labeled as a "marriage" as to me that is simply something different. like calling a bird a fish. Marraige is man and woman, and that's okay, as long as I can get the same legal benefits from a relationship with a man, why would it matter what the relationship is called? "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."